Bitterness becomes rooted in our hearts and lives when a wound, injury, betrayal is not forgiven, not let go. Soon the bitterness takes root and begins to absorb the nutrients of growing frustration, anger and often a desire for revenge. The Bible says that bitterness has a poisonous root, and it grows up to trouble you. The more animosity and pent-up hostility that you store, the more destructive bitterness becomes. Bitterness also produces poisonous fruit. It poisons relationships with others. If a woman has had a few bad experiences in relationships, she may decide that all men are cheaters, abusers, or whatever fits the situation. A person may be bitter at a group of people—Christians, pastors, Democrats, Republicans, or a certain ethnic group. When this happens, they stereotype every person who identifies with the group as part of the problem (whatever it may be). Bitterness skews the truth. Put one bitter person in a group of otherwise pleasant and easy-going people, and that one person can completely deteriorate the atmosphere of the group. Bitterness affects not only the person who is harboring it, but also family, friends, spouse, children, co-workers, and anyone who is close to the person.

Scriptures – Hebrews 12:14-15; Ephesians 4:31-32; Matthew 6:14-15

Verse – Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. (Hb 12:14-15) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just a in Christ God forgave you. (Ep 4:31-32) “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Mt 6:14-15)

Thought – Bitterness is easy to recognize in others, but not so easy to detect in ourselves. How do you know if you are in danger of allowing bitterness to take root? Here are some traits of a bitter person: 1) They justify their bitterness. They have a “right” to be bitter. 2) They tend to be overly critical. 3) They may celebrate the misfortune of those who have hurt them. 4) The actions of a few, cause them to write off a whole group of people. 5) They often don’t recognize their bitterness, or if they do, they feel hopeless to escape it. So, what’s the bottom line? How do we fix it? Forgiveness is the only way. It would be much easier if some surgical procedure could remove it and it would never grow back, but it doesn’t work that way. You have a choice to make. Will you allow bitterness to determine your thoughts, your focus, your actions and steal your joy, or will you allow your faith to lead you toward forgiveness and put your thoughts and focus on God’s ability to heal your heart so that you can live the full life that God desires for you. Maybe you are beyond bitter, and you need to start with, “God, I need you to work in my heart so I can forgive, because I don’t want to. I can’t do it yet, and I need you to help me want to want to forgive, because I’m not there. But, Lord, I do want to be free of this poison that wrenches my gut and disturbs my peace. Help me!” It’s a fractional move, but it’s a start in the right direction. 

Questions – Are you harboring bitterness toward anyone? Do you have an aversion to anyone who happens to be part of a certain “group” of people? Why? How do you respond? Describe an experience that caused bitterness or could have, and how you dealt with it. Share about a bitter person that you have known and how they affected you and others around them (no names).

Response – Forgiveness is a healing process that requires regular spiritual exercise. Pray, read your Bible, seek help from a Christian friend or counselor (if needed). Think about how your life will be when you have this burden of bitterness completely removed from your heart!

Prayer – Dear Lord, help me to want to forgive those who have hurt me. Allow me to let go of feeling justified in my bitterness. I know that I can’t experience your peace until I am free of this hostility. I love you and I want to please you. Help me move toward forgiveness and freedom. In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.